DEMOLISH DEPRESSION BY DREAMING
“We were taught to pick a career, go to university, get a degree, and find a good job. I couldn’t see how going to university and working for someone else would enable me to build the massive wealth I dreamed of. Meanwhile I was barely getting by. The whole idea of wealth seemed impossible to me. I quit university and started working in the sex industry so I could at least have a livable income.”
BARE & BOLD: EMBRACING MY OSTOMY
“In September 2023, I underwent a surgery that removed my large intestine altogether and left me with a permanent ileostomy. I was devastated. I had no idea what to believe about my future anymore. I thought no one would find me beautiful anymore.”
FROM PAIN TO POSSIBILITY
Can you imagine a world with no suffering? What would that look like? Would everyone be joyous all of the time? No tears or pain. No one feels alone. It sounds like “heaven.” Doesn’t it? The eternal question is: “If God exists, then why is there so much suffering in the world?” We’ve all asked this question at some point in our lives.
THE COURAGE TO BE HATED
“Last week, one of my videos went viral… When my video starting getting hundreds and then thousands of views, I got excited. Then, hate starting rolling in. Men and women alike, commented that I look too old and other insults.”
LESSONS IN LOVE AND LETTING GO
“I was sick with jealousy. I started checking his Internet history and phone every day. I told myself I’d be able to trust him again if I saw that he wasn’t lying or cheating still. It wasn’t an invasion of privacy because he should have nothing to hide, I reasoned.”
REIGNING IN THE WILD MIND
“You know that feeling, in the pit of your stomach, when something terrible is out of your control. You immediately imagine the worst-case scenario. Your eyes widen, your breathing gets jacked, your heart rate spikes, you hover on the edge of fear… “
A Lonely Double Life
“To protect my children, I’ve always lied about my work to their teachers and friend’s parents. I don’t want my children to be discriminated against because of other people’s stereotypical beliefs … Now they are getting older. They are strong and defiant. I am less in fear about how my decisions might impact their lives.”
A Stripper With No Goals
“I was a stereotype. My upbringing was poor. I had a broken family and an absent father. My mom was on social assistance. I didn’t have any healthy role models in my life. Some people might draw a straight line from my birth to the day I first took my clothes off for money, like it was inevitable.”
NEVER GIVE UP
“When I first became ill in 2008, no one believed me. My family doctor told me that all of my tests had come back normal. He said the only possible cause of my neurological disability and gastrointestinal symptoms was a trauma from childhood. He said what I had was a psychosomatic disorder.”
HOW COULD YOU?
"They asked me. How could you take your clothes off on stage in a strip club full of rowdy men? How could you brazenly show your face in the media, admitting you’re a sex worker? How could you break up with your husband to become a single mother while chronically ill and disabled? How could you share nude photos of your body at your age, with all your scars, no belly button, and an ostomy?"
How to Become Fearless in 2024!
“I thought everyone was like me growing up. I was raised in a family and neighborhood where people were shamed for showing fear. To show weakness of any kind was distasteful and invited disrespect. I would sooner get my ass kicked than run away from a fight.”
The Greatest Gift
“I felt comforted knowing that most people felt exactly like I did; afraid, insecure, rejected, abandoned, insulted. In other words, most people took the actions of others personally.”
OUT OF CONTROL
“I thought about letting go of control of my partner. A piece of me felt relieved imagining it. I thought about letting go of control of my children. That was harder. A parent must control their children, mustn’t they? I asked myself this question many times over the next few years.”
THE NEW ME
“I thought I could heal myself and tried my best. But three years into the almost constant infections, I knew I had little choice anymore. I could have a horrible quality of life and die young. Or I could potentially improve my quality of life and see my grandchildren be born and raised. The second option left me with a permanent poop bag.”